For hospitality sector, there’s a fire. Due to no smoke

A friend working in the hotel industry tells me footfall (oh, that’s the number of customers in the amazing world of newspaper vagueness) has really gone down the drain. The reasons are obvious, as television reporters never tire of telling us: the scare phenomenon in the aftermath of the Mumbai terror attack in November (oops, sorry: “26/11”) and the economic slowdown.
Good enough reasons, I say. But one more reason here: Fuhrer Ramadoss’s diktat. I mean, the forced no-smoking signs inside restaurants, bars and pubs. Many, like me for instance, have simply stopped going out for a meal and a drink or three due to that human excreta of an order. But hey, aren’t many industries and sectors getting economic sops in this season of gloom?
So, here’s an idea for the hospitality sector: petition our esteemed health minister to withdraw the ban on smoking at eateries and drinking dens, temporarily at least. After all, extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures, Fuhrer Ramadoss.

Why PC likes Slumdog

The film Slumdog Millionaire has found an unusual fan: PC Chidambaram. Yes, him of raise-the-tax-for-middle-class motto. India’s new Home Minister and forever-Finance Minister, as reports PTI, sees the film as elevating: he feels it showcases the entrepreneurial talents of slum dwellers in India. “Please watch the movie after its release," he said on Jan 24, a day after the film was released in theatres across the country.
“A slum like Dharavi in Mumbai is humming with business ideas and innovations and we have to reach to such people also… (A) lot of young men and women in slums have the necessary qualities of being innovative and are willing to take risk to carry out a business venture.”
No doubt, Mr Chidambaram. But what “innovative ideas” and “necessary qualities” do we see among the slum dwellers in the film?
Besides a man with a telescopic memory for all things that has screwed up his life, let’s see:
# in your childhood, how to con people
# in youth, how to con people
# in adulthood, how to con people
And, somewhere along the way, how to shoot a gun and join a gang.
Simple. And uncomplicated.
Good business sense and skill? You bet! Little wonder, his motto is raise the tax for the middle class.

Now showing, at a paper near you: Bad Times

It’s here, finally, for the Indian media. The bad times, the sad times, the mad times. The layoff and frozen-hike times. The heartbreak and heartache times. And then the rounds. Rounds of newspaper offices. Rounds of editors who, suddenly, would have no time for you. Rounds of banks to readjust your loans.
It’s like a merry-go-round/ Only, there’s nothing merry about it. The first black prez or not, I am afraid.

bowl, baby, bowl

"I have no plans to do movies at the moment. I am totally committed to my career as a cricketer. I know I am handsome but all the actresses can wait.”

-- Sreesanth, hailed as overexcited TV channels and following-in-their-footsteps newspaper cricket writers as the next best thing to Glenn McGrath.

Will someone ask the kid to please shut up and figure out how to bowl a proper length?

Six-pack or six packs? Pick your packs

There are six-packs, and there are six packs. Of cigarettes.
The former takes a lot off you. The latter, in the long run, we are told, takes a lot off you.
Mention six-packs even once, and I'll blow a fuse. I don't have one, and envy everyone who lays claims to such things on life. Mention six packs, and I'll blow a fuse. I don't smoke so many, and envy everyone who claim to have so much time as to light up those many.
Shah Rukh, we are told, is the latest one to flaunt six-packs. Johnnie Abraham, though, we are told again, is the original one to own one. Johnnie Abraham, we are told, is the latest advocate of six packs. Shah Rukh, though, was the original one to pack in the lights.
Bottom line? If you got the Will, go for six-packs. If you got the Wills, light it, moron.

Mr Rioter, you are in queue to pop a Q

Revisiting Gujarat. Good idea. Even better timing.
BJP-types in the media ask sneakily: Why now, just before elections?
I ask: Why not now, just before elections? Media hunts, media grunts. Why shouldn't the media haunt those who deserve to be haunted at a time most suited to build public opinion?

BJP-types ask: Why pull skeletons out of the cupboard?
I ask: Why not pull out skeletons from the cupboard when it is ready to be loaded afresh? Media lights the bulb, the bulb illuminates the dark. Don't we have a subject called history right from elementary school-level onwards?

BJP-type ask: Why always stake out 2002 Gujarat or 1992 Maharashtra riots?
I ask: What about Bhagalpur, or 1984 anti-Sikh pogrom, or even post-Partition?

BJP-types ask: Why not anything against governments associated with non-BJP parties ?
I ask: When did Bhagalpur happen? When did anti-Sikh pogrom happen? When did Bofors happen? When did 'chaara ghotala' happen? When did post_Partition, the mother of all killings, happen?

BJP-types ask: Why can't we let bygones be bygones and move ahead?
I say: Good point; and then ask (somehow questioning is one good bad habit of we humans): Why not let Ram, his mandir, his sethu, and his shastra be bygones just as well?

You ask your questions, I will ask mine. In that cross-questioning, may be, some answer will emerge some day. In the interim, let's put that foot down (ugh, change your stinking socks, mate) and keep redrawing the footmarks.

DISCLAIMER: The pic is from 1992 Bombay riots. The dead man's ghost saw many others ghosts born 10 years later.

A nation relieved

Didn’t shave. (For 23 days?)
Did he sit on the pot?
Shaved his head (On first of 23 days?)
Did he handle the toothbrush?
(A blog can’t give you more, over to the newspersons for more details)